LET’S JUST HAVE SOME COFFEE
Let me tell you about a time when my wife & I were spending a morning strolling down Huntington Beach, CA. It was at the end of our walk, and we wanted to view the magnificent ocean from the Pier. The morning fresh air was absolutely intoxicating while we were holding hands and enjoying each other’s company. About halfway on the Pier, my wife noticed a distraught Young Lady (early 20’s) standing on the other side of the railing precariously holding onto a pole, as if to decide to JUMP! You can just see her contemplating the long drop. She knew that the moment she let go of the pole- she would never see another day. Many other people noticed, but not wanting to get involved, kept walking by. My wife encouraged me to approach her and somehow talk her down from her desolate perch.
Empathizing with this Young Lady’s distress, I cautiously approached. Not knowing what to really say or how she would react; I began by easing into a conversation. I purposefully spoke in a soft reassuring tone asking her if she needed some help. I just wanted to extend some kindness, so I asked if she was okay…She immediately responded by conveying that her life was not worth living. That angst in her voice screamed out for mercy and just left us heart broken. My wife compassionately interjected that she was so young and beautiful and had so much to live for. Receiving that affirmation from a mature stunning-looking female grabbed the Young Lady’s attention, but she quickly dismissed the compliment informing us that she was tired of being used by men just to find a to place to sleep at night. Obviously, her predicament had many layers to it, too many to address at this current crisis. I consoled her by acknowledging her pain, commenting that we could see that she was in a bad place. Although sensing our sincerity, the Young Lady was insistent on ending it all, and by now a little crowd formed around us (however keeping a fair distance away, so as not to become part of the conversation).
My wife and I earnestly tried convincing her to step down (with several different approaches), but not one seemed to persuade her. There appeared to be no way to resurrect the hope she obviously lost. The distraught Young Lady was so resolutely adamant, we felt helpless as she looked down at the waters…Then, I guess out of utter frustration and [out of nowhere] I blurted: “LOOK, LET’S JUST HAVE SOME COFFEE.”
That Out-In-Left Field invitation seemed so Off-Center, that it even took my wife by surprise and shockingly swayed the Young Lady’s perspective! Surprisingly, she turned towards me and reflectively commented, “That sounds really good.” We could not believe it! We were astonished, but that bizarre suggestion did the trick! We eagerly helped the Young Lady down and told her that we were going to the nearest coffee shop and SHARE A CUP!
It seemed like her hope was at least temporarily resuscitated as we walked about 20 yards towards the beginning of the Pier. Then unexpectedly, 2 police officers (powerwalking towards us), attempted to apprehend the Young Lady. WHAT?! COME ON! Apparently, someone called 911 while we were talking her down off the Pier. Despite our pleas that the young lady posed no threat to herself and others, they aggressively persisted, and in an instant, DRAGGED HER OFF… Our hearts became so saddened, as we had no idea what eventually happened to this young soul.…We never did have that coffee. We hope the Most Merciful granted her some semblance of peace in her life.
In retrospect, I often wondered why the coffee invite- did the trick. Why did it appeal to the Young Lady and immediately disrupt her determined destructive mind-set? After mulling over the matter, I have concluded that there is something about coffee and the act of sharing it with others that transcends the ‘mere act of drinking’. There seems to be a therapeutic quality that accompanies [sipping coffee]. The act of partaking seems to center us and enable us to [become present]. With each sip, we gain [mindfulness] as our thoughts outdistance our problems and we concentrate on just [the savoring]. The smell of the aroma, the taste, and the endorphins received by our consciousness for a temporary period of time- seem to keep all our issues at bay. The Young Lady figured- ‘Yeah, let me have a [TIME OUT] from this gut-wrenching dilemma, and grab some coffee. I can always return to the Abyss.” Sometimes life is so overwhelming we just need to slow it down- Call a [TIME OUT] or [Take a Coffee Break], and then get back to dealing with the mess.
Man, this life is not easy, unfortunately all of us are going to pass, and the prospect of decaying daily, is just not cool. I have no moral judgment on the taking of one’s own life- who am I to do so? I know grief, and Grief is a monster that can easily consume us. Truly, it is easy to understand- Who doesn’t want to escape non-stop anguish and who knows what others are struggling with (inner-demons, depression, addiction, trauma, physical pain, toxic stress), all of which can create mental-illness. It can overwhelm and severely disconnect our brain circuitry. Certainly, suicide can end the Suffers torment, but it can also permanently ravage the Surviving Loved Ones. Those we leave behind can be left with [Unresolved Anguish] and give them an [option they never considered before]- now that’s SCARY!…Dang.
P.S. I never met Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss (this Blog pic), but I wish I were at that hotel, and we shared an intervention Cup of Coffee, a [TIME OUT]. Hey Buzzy (long-time friend of mine)- I never forgot you, Bro- R.I. P.
B.P.S. I’ll take a tall hot White Chocolate Mocha…. from the Lookout Post.